The great escape!!!!...or The Fence...Part 3

Sunday morning, another fall day after heavy rains, the back yard looked as if hurricane Ike had paid a visit!!! We could put up a sign saying "Maggie's yard sale" but we know she'd take great exception to having any of her treasures sold off!!! So instead we get the garbage can out and begin the task of eliminating the past week's household foraging....three single socks, none of them matching, sales receipts whisked from the counter top, amply chewed, now sodden from the rains and night dew, an unclaimed insole from a random shoe, a shoe strap from another of yesterday's shoes, scattered bones repeatedly the item of the day, feverishly worked on, buried, resurrected, diligently brought into the house for our approval, returned to the back yard hoping some night marauder would confiscate them, bits of wood from goodness knows where in all sizes, shapes and degrees of annihilation; the list goes on!!!!!

Back in the kitchen, working on a week's supply of pancake making when it dawns on me that our royal highness is no where to be seen. Hhhmmmm, "Maggie" "Maggie" "MAGGIE!!!".....nothing but silence. The gate to the living room is still in place as is the one for the stairway. Basement...no, garage.....no, front yard....no, back yard ......no???? Repeated calling in the back yard, a look over the fence into our neighbor's yard (reference The Fence parts one and two!!!) and still no Maggie??? Then from the Dixons' side of the fence, I hear the jangle of her dog tags. The kids are dispatched to return her to our yard and survey where she escaped from. Brendan returns to say he can't find any place where the escape happened. Finishing pancake making, I venture out to check the fence and come up empty.

Meanwhile, Maggie's happy to be back in familiar surroundings, lavishing all the attention, smiling at the fuss being shown her, indicating we've missed wiping one of her paws and now is in full play mode which brings a collective sigh from all of us!!!

Still perplexed at her latest undertaking in life, I go out and check the gate on one side of the house and the under construction partition of the fence on the other side of the house and find all is secure. It dawns on me then that our mischievous one has taken her departure once more!!! Looking more closely at the fence on the Dixons' side, I'm left wondering if at the back where all the blackberry vines are, has she somehow ferreted through to make her escape??? Pruning shears and a machete in hand, I attack the bramble with great passion (reminiscent of the prince in Sleeping Beauty readying himself to take on Malificent and save his princess!!!) ( okay, now that is funny!!!!) and sure enough as the vines are whacked and hacked away, there lying exposed is a hole in the fence large enough to accomodate the latest getaway!!!

Hammer, nails, multiple boards and a rather large chunk of concrete from the construction part of the fence has the yard secure once more!!! Her nibs having been recaptured and closed in until all was complete, came bounding out, immediately surveyed the newest addition to the fence, employed her nose to sniff out any possibility of a weakness in the now wall that met her and moved on to play at other things!!!

I have total assurance as surely as the blackberry vines will overtake that portion of our yard again, Maggie will find yet another means to challenge her nemesis.....the fence!!! :)

As the months slip by.....

Time flies when you have a puppy!!!!! :)



Whisked away from her family at such a young age, leaving her mother, brothers and sisters in the country and moving on to a suburban family who were at the onset of loving her to pieces, laughing at her endlessly as her antics gushed from her fountain of youth!!!!!

Well there was no toilet paper so I have to use something handy!!!! Would you help me shred this? I find it’s so practical that way!!!!

Oh there's entirely too much water here that completely reminds me of bath time!!!!
If only they'd forget the part about me being a retriever!!! How can I get out of this one???

You know, I'm getting too big to carry around but it still feels really good to be to be cuddled!!! Why does she keep on calling me a sausage; what I'd like is to have a bunch of them to munch on as we speak!!! Hmmm, what's that over on that counter, a little to the left please!!! Stop smiling at that silver box and open the fridge!!! Oh that smells good.......

So this is what it means to be a teenager???!!!! They get me up too early in the morning, I get larger portions, get to stay up later, get to lay down whenever I want and I can reach up onto the counter whenever they're not looking!!! The sandwich was good, the cooked chicken was great and oh that steak that I took was amazing, totally!!! They sure get righteous about me taking that stuff!!! I've got to learn how to eat faster!!! What'll they do when they learn I've been drinking their wine!!!!

This is the life!!! My masters have their favorite spot and so do I but they sure get riled when they find me here. This thing about time out isn't all that bad but I just had that spot nicely warmed up and it's so soft!!! The part I don't get is what's all the fuss about obedience school??? They keep mentioning it to me when I jump on all the people who come over to play with me and when I play bite them, I hear it over and over. It usually follows all the "NO's" and "DOWNS", so I sit down and then they say'Good Girl" and everything seems fine but someone always mentions this school thing again!!! I hope there's lots of food there. That reminds me, I'm hungry!!! :)

Oh those humble
beginnings.....taken from her home , mother and siblings in the country, settling into a new home where a bounty of love was awaiting her along with the frantic calling of "NO !!!, OFF!!!, DOWN!!! STOP IT!!! GGOOOODDDD GGGIIIRRRLLLL!!!!







At the shoreline; there sure is a lot of water here, none of it is in a bowl!!! This looks too much like a big bath, I mean a really big bath!!! Do they expect me to go in there??? Why does the water keep coming after me??? I'm still unsure of all this!!!










I'm out of here!!!! I've only had one bath, the trauma is still totally ingrained in me and even though my people thought they were doing the right thing, I'm really uneasy with all this water!!! Please don't tell them I'm a retriever, they might actually forget and I won't have to go near this stuff again!!!!!

Vacations and oh, the heat....

Puppies are adaptable, they can take on the world, writing their own script, overcoming all obstacles, charging headlong into the weirdest of situations and excelling at the most unlikely of outcomes!!! So with some family members away on vacation and some still at home, given explicit instructions as to how Maggie was to be treated……exercised, played with, fed and occupied for the week we were away, it should be a breeze for all concerned.

Well, it just so happened that the working members of the family encountered their heaviest week of the season and worked longer than normal hours. The heat hit close to record temperatures and Maggie’s routine suffered as much as she did in the heat. Left to her own devices to manage a now empty house for untold hours, she went on a protest activity roster of sorts and decided the carpet on the stairs needed replacing. Her newly arrived adult teeth worked with great precision as she began the task of removing the carpet closest to her mouth as she lay on the cool tiles of the front foyer. Fortunately, as a puppy, she is readily distracted by the slightest noise, sound and flutter coming from the backyard and chose to leave her as yet unfinished work for loftier pursuits!!!

The heat took its toll on her nonetheless as the 100 degree weather carried on day after day until her protest took on the form of relieving herself wherever she felt the calling and in such a way that easily can be interpreted as her defiance at the lack of attention shown her. Text messages arrived, detailing the “crazy dog” that had replaced our mischievous but wonderful princess of a puppy. The hounds of hell had visited and exchanged our Maggie with an other dimensional entity no one knew how to deal with.

So with great anxiety, we packed up for our four hour trip home wondering all the while how we had created this nightmare and how to offset it should it happen again next year. We arrived home amazed to still see the house standing, no neighbors amassing on the front lawn in protest, no yellow tape stretched across the door, barring entry to the maelstrom within and no one wearing HAZMAT suits to ward off the plague that surely must have encompassed the lower floor of the house!!!

Maggie met us at the door, tail wagging, crying for joy as much as puppies can cry for joy and looking at us as if to say, “Where have you been; I’ve really missed you!!!” We scrutinized the workings of the reshaped carpet, headed to the cupboard for cleaning supplies to further scrub the affected areas of Maggie’s Picasso- esque creations on the dining room carpet and began the task of unloading the car from our vacation. Washer and dryer going, attention given lavishly to Maggie and a change in the weather system approaching, we settled in to the day to day activities leading up to the return to work and as cooler days and some welcomed rain fell, Maggie’s persona resumed its regal position as somewhat spoiled(who am I kidding???) lady of the manor!!! (Point the fan this way, if you please and more ice while you’re at it!!! :)

Didn't I just....... ?????

Maggie has a wonderful alpha personality about her that usually brings a smile to our faces as she brings us her latest vanquished object, be it a small quilted blanket, a discarded shawl from generations past, her most recent bone, amply chewed and dirt covered and all are presented with the urgency and intensity of a young child, deliberate in her movements that end soundly in our laps as these massive paws descend upon us! Her look is one of pride and she clearly wants us to join in the fun and celebrate her emergence of The retriever!!!

Her dominance of our household is without question as her repeated efforts to be queen of the manor is demonstrated over and over again, in a multitude of ways. It doesn’t matter whether we’re grabbing our first cup of coffee or ready to crawl in for the night, Maggie has her own plan as to how the universe should unfold!!!

One of her current assertions is that food in all its descriptions, flavours, scents or odours is worthy of her sampling or more correctly, is hers for the taking!!! Today’s sandwich, freshly made with great care and attention, was summarily whisked away as her jaws met the top of the counter with just the right amount of leverage to secure half the sandwich. Now the interesting thing is, she has the sense that what she’s doing will meet (meat) with considerable outcry from us and as those determined chops of hers land the sandwich (in this case), her legs are already in motion for the door, through the screen, across the patio and onto the back lawn as rather indignant adults attempt to “retrieve” the sandwich as it disappears from sight!!!!!! You know there’ll be more to come………. :)

Hackles anyone???

Our Maggie has turned on her hackles, if that’s what puppies do???!!! She now sees something that she deems as out of place, unidentifiable or just down right wrong and the barking ensues amidst lots of movement forward and backward and sideways (you have to get every angle in order to assess the danger at hand) and now for the determined effort on her part to show she’s in charge and no one will invade her space, the emergence of her hackles!!!! Except she hasn’t told her body what part is supposed to raise and what isn’t so her hackles start at the back of her head and run the entire length of her spine, to the base of her tail. She resembles a teenager with spiked hair, all pointing to the middle or centre line!!! And just so that you know she means business, she lowers her head, growling and barking at that shovel leaning against the fence, defying it to move!!! :) All that accomplished, she bounds into the house to let us know she’s been on the job of defending the Paces’ backyard and all is well and thus far the shovel hasn’t chased her into the house as her furtive, over the shoulder glance will verify!!!!

Hhhhhmmmm.......what's that for?

Her nibs is utilizing her nose as often as possible these days, morning, noon and night. It’s like she has just realized that this is one of her characteristics as a dog/ retriever. The head is pointed upward to field the slightest aroma, inside or outside and that accompanies her latest discovery that the scrap basket in our powder room has ever new and interesting things to pull out, prance through the halls with and chew on with great enthusiasm!!! The empty toilet paper roll makes for an interesting plaything until it lies flat, half chewed and liberally moistened from ample time in Maggie’s mouth. Curiosity about a used Kleenex is met with lying in the front hallway and shredding it, awaiting the next distraction and something more purposeful??? Of course, without a backward glance she’s off to engage in whatever strikes her fancy but there is an expectation from her highness that the mess be cleaned up post haste!!!


Actually, we have bedrooms that resemble this scenario, discarded clothing, empty plates and bowls, comforters on the floor and a curious pile of what one could speculate was the clean clothes, washed, dried and neatly folded by two parents now intriguingly camouflaged by the discarded, sweaty and soiled from this week’s events, clothes readying themselves for the next culling into the unused laundry hamper for the weekly migration to the washing machine!!!!! Yes, I fear Maggie is imprinting on our children!

Who's teaching who???

Maggie is getting bigger by the day. I’ll have to get pictures taken and send off to you. There’s not a lot to report on with her other than the website strongly suggested one to two hours a day of exercise daily to keep her fit, occupied, happy and eating everything she smells in a hundred yard radius!!!!! Those huge, doleful eyes have a way of saying,” Please sir, might I have more????” The Brits have an expression about someone talking back to the other party, they call it “giving out” as in, “I talked to her but she kept giving out to me about the roof needing doing…” Well Maggie is great at “giving out” to us over our insistence she be trained, not jump up on everyone she sees, not biting everyone who comes into the house and stop considering everyone of us as litter mates!!!! She gets exasperated and barks, talks, pounces on us AND howls as if to say,” Hey, I live here too and I want to play, so what’s wrong with you??? And don’t give me that “I’m tired and need to sit down, you just got home, I haven’t seen you all day, so let’s get on with it…….the bone, the ball, the old blanket, I’m not bothered, let’s play!!!!” :) I think she’s about to about to get me a whole lot fitter than I am now!!!! And yes, I still have the sneaking suspicion she knows she’s training us!!! :)

Water, water everywhere.....

Oh the uses of water…. That stuff in the bowl goes really well with the food in the next dish and is so good when there has been lots of frantic running in the backyard. The stuff in the toilet is intriguing but Maggie fortunately isn’t quite ready to go for the big gulp!!! Now, the hose is a different matter. Sheila is out, watering the plants including the replaced pots on the patio and this is just wonderful. When the hose is left on the grass with the water running freely, this brings a whole new dimension to the backyard activities!!! The grass in front of the hose is wet, it’s really, really wet, kind of like a puddle and when a paw is placed into that puddle, it’s a great feeling that causes Maggie’s head to turn sideways and is met with a pounce or two for good measure!!! This is a great game!!! And if the paws land just right, landing on the hose, the water changes direction!!! Where do these games come from???

But there is the matter of having a bath. Yes, I know she’s a Golden Retriever and they love water but having a bath is a different matter and after all she is only a child/puppy. Having soap rubbed into her fur even no more tears shampoo was met with an overwhelming woefulness that broke into a moan which needed a wail to accompany it and then the instinctual howl broke out to let all the species on the planet know of the travesty at the Paces where bathing a dog was in fact cruel and unusual punishment!!!!! Alana’s softly spoken assurances of, “I know, I know” fell on deaf ears as the wailing continued. And then it was over, water and suds draining from the evil tub, a big towel to assist in her removal and lots of rubbing to get the bulk of the water off of her. Escape was at hand as she flew down the stairs to the patio door, straining to get away. The door was opened and without looking back she launched herself out across the patio and onto her beloved grass where she rolled and scratched and wriggled and then as if to show Alana and all of us who was in control, she dove under her favorite bush and promptly rubbed all that shampoo smell off of her as she rolled in the earth, nose, face ,ears ,back, front, paws ,legs and tail and then had the audacity to say, “I think I’ll come in now!!!!”

Attention!!!

Puppies have this wonderful habit of exploring things new to them by employing their senses and if that doesn’t categorize what’s in front of them, resorting to barking and even a cat like swipe at the bewildering object can often help to assimilate the discovery. Of course the firmly placed paw is more dog like and less insulting to her highness than being equated to the feline population!

Potted plants on the patio are to be smelled with nose firmly rooting out anything that requires identification. Bending and breaking the stems is merely collateral damage in this quest for knowledge but if one presses further, the rounded pot has the tendency to roll on its side which presents something brand new, is clearly out of the ordinary and its tendency to continue to roll is most perplexing. The ensuing game of life takes on the proportions of barking at an intruder who defiantly won’t cease to move and pay heed to the very determined Maggie!!! Minutes pass and still there is no outcome as the now stationary pot continues to perplex Maggie who has discovered that she has a great bark and when used repeatedly is rather commanding!!! However, no one inside the house is impressed as everyone grabs at familiar toys to distract our newly self appointed guard dog!

There is progress!!!

Coming up to 11 weeks old, twice the size from her arrival on our doorstep and learning new and different things daily. The toys that she shook relentlessly have a squeak when bitten and so what was a single activity now has three aspects to it as she squeaks, shakes and runs throughout the house, delighting in the progress she’s made. The garden has its own allure as some plants can be mashed under her as she launches herself into the foliage, falling onto the verdant pillow while other bushes delight her as she navigates the way under one and through another to a place that’s moments away from where she went in but has found a new pathway that must lead to new adventures as well.

Her now longer size enables her to stretch up to the counter top where many amazing aromas meet her ever twitching nose. The enticement has gained permanence as she now has the realization that people food is wonderfully diverse and so much more enticing than dog biscuits! Her bark and all her puppy noises have us trained as the patio door is opened and closed more often than a subway turnstile as she bores of the constant reminders to “sit” and “down”, deciding rather to inspect what that robin is doing in our yard and wonders if she’s discovered a new friend. The robin dutifully flies to safety, alighting on our fence to watch Maggie and all the while thinking, “Not another puppy to put up with!!!”

Pillows are still fun to pull off of the couch, dish towels are now and forevermore “off limits” as the “No” word and replacing them on the handle of the stove has sunk in, so there has to be a replacement for that activity. In an attempt to discover what else can be fun inside the house, Maggie has now decided the criterion for exploration and discovery is best served by a good bark accompanied by an occasional growl as only puppies can and is now used on inanimate objects like books, the aquarium, the very shadowy image of herself in the glass door leading to the dining room and the toilet, to name a few!!! So far the toilet hasn’t responded that we know of!!!

Another puppy???

Why is there another puppy in the house? And why does he or she appear only in select areas of the house? I’m really cautious as to approaching him, he does seem to be friendly so I wag my tail all the more and so does he! If I lie down and watch him really closely I might figure out what he’s doing here. I did think I’d made a good impression on my family so why have they gone and done this? As I lie here watching him with everything in my being, he’s doing the same thing to me. Quite frankly, I find that rather rude and why isn’t he coming any closer? I’ll bark at him, that will cause a reaction and perhaps I’ll learn more as to why he’s here. Oooooohhh, he’s barking right back at me; now I know I’m not getting anywhere. Okay, I’ll try talking to him and see what happens. He has to know I’m friendly; he can see my tail’s wagging. Okay, I’ll get a little closer and keep using the words I’ve learned from my mother, brothers and sisters. He has to know that I want to be friends but when I leave this spot, he never follows me. What’s really hard to figure out is why I can’t smell him; everything I’ve touched, sniffed, licked and bitten has an aroma, a scent, a smell, so why doesn’t he??? And what’s frustrating me more is all my family is howling (did I just say that?) laughing at me as I try to make contact with him but I do have his name figured out. I’ve learned my name is Maggie and his name has to be Mirror, they keep saying it over and over to him. Now where did he go???

Our little Houdini

Maggie loves being outside and can occupy herself almost endlessly (as if you didn’t know!) for longer and longer periods each day.

Her latest game indoors is to slide on her puppy belly under the couch in the living room when we’re all in there and treat it as her hiding spot. There’s fringe on the couch that lets her be hidden from view. The game begins as she barks at the fringe or perhaps at us to come get her, come find her or she has the sense of she’s now closed in and wants out. The playful barking continues until she figures out that she can just slide out under the fringe with her nose poking out and then her face. By then we’re all laughing at her. Invariably, there’s a ball under there which she gets and rolls it out. Repetition is a part of the game which leaves us laughing all the more and wondering if she knows that she’s entertaining us???!!!! :)

The Fence.....part 2

Our little vixen is growing along with her leaps and bounds and it won’t be long till she is able to pull from the countertops. The fence still intrigues her as in, “Do I go over or under??? The smells outside the yard are by far more appealing than those already explored!!!!!” Her indoor activity is lengthening as she sleeps less and plays more. The one that still gets me is her love of chasing the tennis ball but the bewilderment at the fact that it doesn’t run away after she lets it go!!! The game is quickly rejoined as a touch from a foot sends it on its way. The formation of the go get it and fetch it back hasn’t yet settled in but there is the beginning of it. We’re all working on her being a lot more selective as to what or whom she bites/chews on!!!! Sheila’s line is that she’s experienced at restraining children that are totally out of control at school so Maggie, you don’t have a prayer of beating the school principal !!!!!!!! Each day brings incremental changes in Maggie that are all for the better.

The weekend has brought us new tales/tails of this delightful furball who is impacting on us in ever increasing ways!

As we buy and place new doggie gates to corral this whirlwind of life, she has decided that escape has to be priority one! I think we’ll rename her Jason Bourne as espionage, subterfuge and death defying escapes are clearly in her roster of talents and any prize confiscated from its rightful spot or owner meets with a great chase, lots of tail wagging and zealous shaking of the head in defiance of the pursuers!!!
Maggie's hideaway, our overgrown bush,with all its hidden treasures has been her place of choice since her arrival in our family and often has chosen that spot to express her indifference to any and all callings and pleadings to assure us that she hadn't got out of the yard or hadn't been eaten by a bear. Of course this allows for confusion as to her whereabouts as the pursuers, Greg, Sheila and Alana wait with less and less patience for her at the front of the bush (the hideaway!). The calls as yet unheeded become more frantic and anxiety riddled and still no Maggie.

As all good agents have, Maggie has a back door to her hideout, facilitating her getaway in the event of intruders closing in on her. As the day progressed, she found additional ways to shift the boards of the fence that weren’t reinforced and merrily went on her way to show off her prowess at seeking freedom. She had to show Chris, our neighbor that he wasn’t all that good at fence repair and swiftly exited our yard, scooted through his garden, into his garage, found his garden gloves, selected the tastier of the two and pranced just out of range of first Chris and then Sheila, all the while, with a twinkle in her eye, loving the continuation of the game!!!

The front doorbell rings, interrupting our supposed game and there, in the arms of our neighbour, is our smiling, still wriggling, panting puppy with a hint of a look that suggests, “Got ya!!!”

Upon closer inspection of the fence along the patio and where the overgrown evergreen bush hides any and all activity of our four legged friend, there is a gaping hole, persistently chewed away by those developing teeth of Maggie!!! Chris, smiling all the while as he returned Maggie, proceeded to re board the fence to close off any future attempts at escape. Confident that her enclosure was in fact now an enclosure once again, we returned to doing people things like laundry, dishes and returning the house to a respectable level of order. Maggie’s trail tends to want us to buy a shovel instead of a dust pan and a fire hose instead of the usual broom!!!!! :)

Pass the toothpicks!!!

Our Maggie’s fascination with her new found world continues almost unchecked and that’s probably where the problem is!!! This little monkey has decided that all things have to sniffed, licked, chewed, bitten and shaken for good measure. The throw pillows on the couches are prime targets for her; someone must have told her they were throw pillows because she has come to the realization they are great toys on the floor and why ever would we want them to stay on the couch??? E V E R Y T H I N G that can possibly put in her mouth and is within reach (from the four foot stance or the two foot stance!!!)……pants, socks, shoes, shorts, p j ‘s, dress pants, skirts, bare feet…..the toe that’s licked can just as easily be bitten (it might be food!!!).

Peeing on the family room floor can be done in the “tinkle” of an eye and has play value as the ensuing wiping of the floor must be meant for her amusement!!! Kitchen chairs (wooden) and the table are prime biting/teething targets and look at that, they are available even lying down; who would have thought??? The endless chewing has resulted in my getting her an old stick complete with bark to while away the hours; it’s definitely cheaper than replacing all the furniture!!! I broke it into two pieces, gave her half which she feverishly worked on until sleep overtook her. She looked so beautiful in the midst of strewn bark pieces and a thousand bits and pieces of wood remnants that were just waiting to audition for a role in “Toothpicks”, a real life drama brought to you by the Paces, set design by Maggie!!!!